There are many common myths around being single: single people are lonely, single people are always looking for a mate, single people are selfish, single people fear intimacy, single people are single because of past negative experiences – yadda, yadda, yadda.
Sure, I have had my share of disappointments and that’s not my reason for being single. My reason for being single is simply that I like being single. I think I always have preferred it. Now that I’m older I don’t get the pressure I got when I was younger – the pressure and the stigma for my choice to remain single.
I still see the stigma and hear of this belief that people are happier partnered. I can tell you this is just not the case.
Loneliness is a growing wide-spread epidemic
When society insists that being partnered is the only way to happiness and fulfillment, single people are made to feel they are missing out and that their lives are out of balance without a romantic partner. I believe this social construct is destructive and contributes to many singles experiencing a sense of loneliness and unhappiness that need not be the case.
As the years have passed I have increasingly seen my singlehood as an advantage. I enjoy my singlehood and it is a large part of my spiritual practice. I know that my primary responsibility in this lifetime is to my spiritual growth.
I had to lose my path to find it again
In my younger years when I felt upset and lonely for not having someone, I was responding to social conditioning along with my hormones (it happens). I believed I was missing something because I was alone. I believed something was wrong with me – that I wasn’t desirable enough.
As I got older I began to realize my purpose in this lifetime did not necessarily involve a romantic partner. My purpose had more to do with my spiritual path and a romantic partner would have been too much of a distraction. I think I always knew this but was never fully conscious of it.
I find my joy in solitude. I have gained strength and empowerment in feeling fulfillment within myself.
Universal energy is an infinite supply
I can share energy with family and friends and I do not need a romantic partner to feel fulfilled within myself. This – I find – very exciting.
What I desire in my life now is peace and I generally have it. It is there at my fingertips whenever I desire it at every moment of the day. The only thing that can take away my peace is myself and what thoughts I might entertain. It is my choice in how I respond to any situation and sometimes I forget I can choose what I think.
What I have had to remember in the last while is to bring home the power of Universal energy. The road has been tough at times, yet I know it is for the purpose of my spiritual growth. I need to re-center and bring myself back when I become dislocated.
There is no greater power than Universal spirit. I have known of my connection all my life on some level and as a child I witnessed it in some incidences. My experience with it amazed me. As I got older I lost a lot of that awareness as I went through a period of doubt.
I had to experience what it was like to feel disconnected by not being aware of my connection for a period of time in my life. During this time I felt I needed a romantic partner to replace the energy I had lost.
Nothing against being partnered
Do I have something against being partnered? Absolutely … not. What I am saying is that the road to intimacy, happiness, and fulfillment is not only had through sex, romance, and partnership. It has taken me a lifetime to come to accept that I always had this awareness, and I believe I speak for many others out there.
Loneliness need not dig its teeth into anyone. Universal Source energy is always at our fingertips because it is everywhere and everything. I do not believe in succumbing to social conditioning that says we need a romantic partner to have balance in our life. I have been single for a very long time and have never married, and I can tell you this idea of romantic partnership as the source of happiness and well-being is a fallacy.
Let go of the suffering
Are you suffering needlessly by this belief of needing a partner? Are you feeling left behind? Do you believe your life is out of balance without a partner? Drop it. Being single is not a disease that needs to be cured.
Enjoy solitude, and your own company. Feel the love the Universe has for you. It is there and you only need to be open to it, as it is the very energy you are seeking and longing for in love. Cut the ties that get you too hung up on the physical and allow spirit to fill you.
Joyful journeying.
Julie A. Vermette 