Self-Worth on the Writing Journey

Who am I to be writing this stuff? This is a question I have asked myself many times. Am I worthy?

Worth. Or is it … self-worth? I have struggled with the issue of my worthiness as a writer. I have come to see the difference between worth and self-worth and I need to be aware of how I see these terms in relation to my writing. This is something I have not considered until recently.

What is the difference between worth and self-worth?

In my own belief worth is the value I may see in myself as compared to others. Looking at others with more education, more writing experience, and just being better writers can put me into a place of doubt and fear. In other words smacked down by that ole beast, resistance. I do not wish to look at myself as having worth.

Self-worth on the other hand is in the worth I put on myself as compared to me only. There is no competition. No one can say how worthy I am in whatever I do. When I gauge my own worthiness, the only person I am accountable to is myself. To feel self-worth is to value myself and what I have to offer. What truly makes me worthy is to have self-worth – as opposed to worth. It’s not about looking out, it’s about looking in.

Feeling self-worth as a writer is really about self-expression from my own experience. Knowing myself and who I am opposes what I have learned about who I “ought” to be.

I am worthy of writing

I can’t please everyone and I need to remember I am writing first for myself, then for my audience, and self-expression from the heart will draw my audience. What someone does not like, I cannot take personally.

When I write from the heart I will reach others who feel and think as I do. It is true no one is an island. If I am in a certain frame of mind about something, there is a whole other gang out there feeling exactly as I am. Or perhaps they are pondering or exploring the topic I am writing about. Those are the people I want to reach.

I think self-worth is given by the universe and spirit and I need to remember and accept that.

When I lose confidence in myself as a writer, I know ego – or resistance – has gotten the better of me. Writing is the soul’s expression and ego does not like this.

Lack of self-worth is an illusion

I believe this sense of a lack of self-worth is an illusion. This illusion comes from false beliefs of who I am and what I “ought” to be doing. As a result, I have shut down my authentic voice. It’s the “oughts” that can maim. My illusions of low self-worth come from what I think I “should” be doing and a false belief of who I think I am. Comparing myself to others while thinking I am inferior can be the killing field for an endeavor I might want to take on.

A place of authenticity

To write from the heart is to have authenticity and depth. This is when I feel my self-worth. How can I not be aware of my self-worth when I write from a place of authenticity? Confidence comes from knowing and fully accepting myself.

When I write and allow myself to open up and let go of fears, spirit can speak through me, whereas when I doubt myself, resistance trips me up. Who is saying I’m less worthy than anyone else? Only I can put a degree of self-worth on myself. Worth on the other hand, opens me up to feel judged by others who can put a gauge on my ability compared to someone else.

This is not to say that I refuse guidance and constructive feedback in order to improve my writing. That is another topic altogether.

When I doubt myself and think I am not worthy, I disregard spirit and I have no faith. To allow spirit to speak through me is to allow my own voice its expression. I only need to trust.

I often used to think I was not worthy because of my lack of formal education. I am not a trained psychologist or theologian and this used to fill my thoughts with much doubt. This belief is now in the past because I write from personal experience and from the heart which fuels my sense of self-worth.

How about you? If you lack a sense of self-worth, remember to ask yourself the question: worthy in whose eyes other than your own? Gauge your own self-worth. It all starts with you.

Joyful journeying.